Archive for March, 2011

Waiting

March 9, 2011

I am about a week and a half into a two-week vacation.  And in the eternal paradox of writing and blogging, instead of my norm of having no time and plenty to write about, I now have plenty of time. . . but nothing to write.  But I shall do my best.

In 5 days I will learn if I matched, and in 8 I will learn to where.  I’d like to stay here if at all possible, and walking around the neighborhood I come across For Sale or For Rent signs, and think “Man, that would be nice to live there!”  But this thought is inevitably closely followed by “Shaddap!  Don’t think those things!  You have no idea where you’re headed, so don’t get your hopes up!”  I want to make plans for the future, but that impulse is brought up short.

In truth I’d like to stay, but I’d be pretty darn happy with just about any of the 4 or 5 places at the top of my list.  But the not knowing is difficult.  To pass the time I have rediscovered my passion for pleasure reading, and have burned through The Caine Mutiny and Snow Crash and have started back into the Harry Potter books in the space of about 3 weeks.  I’ve also dusted off some old video games, and revived an interest in high-yield cooking (ie stew) which I hope will serve me well in the coming years.

But inevitably the thoughts trickle in.  It’s exciting and scary, and my heart beats faster thinking about opening that envelope a week from tomorrow.  I’m going to be spending the next 5-7 years in wherever place the match algorithm has decided to send me, and I want to start learning about that place right now!  It’s a real exercise, to sit and savor this peaceful lull not knowing where I’m headed next.  But I imagine that’s not necessarily a bad thing.  If nothing else, it means I get to catch up a little bit on my reading 🙂

“Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”